最佳回答 The
Best Reply
兩個年度「最給力的回馬一槍」答辯
TWO OF THE YEAR'S BEST COMEBACK
RESPONSES
背景: 在美國律師是高收入的職業，但並不十分受人尊重。因而有很多律師的笑話。
假如你有機會在法庭上作證，但願你也有跟這位警官先生一樣的機智。
這位警官在一件重罪案件中出庭接受被告律師的詢問。
這位律師想貶低這位警官的誠信度。
If
you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this
policeman.
He
was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial.
The
lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility .....
問：警官. . . 你親眼看見被告逃離現場？
Q:
'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
答：沒有。 但是案發後我看到一個疑似被告的人跑了好幾條街。
A:
'No sir.But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the
offender, running several blocks away.'
問：警官. . .是誰告訴你被告的長像？
Q:
'Officer -- who provided this description?'
答：是那個接到報案到達現場的警官。
A:
'The officer who responded to the scene.'
問：是和你一夥的警官向你描述了這位嫌疑犯的長像。你相信你的同僚嗎？
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of
this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
答：我相信，我以人格保證。
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
問：以人格保證？那我問你一個問題：上班的時候你們有更衣室可以讓你們更換制服嗎？
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then
officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in
preparation
for your daily duties?'
答：我們有的！
A:
'Yes sir, we do!'
問：那你們在更衣室有帶鎖的櫃子嗎？
Q:
'And do you have a locker in the room?'
答：我們有的！
A:
'Yes, sir, ... I do.'
問：那你們的櫃子上鎖嗎？
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
答：是的，上鎖！
A: 'Yes, sir.'
問：好, 這是為什麼,
警官，假如你能以人格保證你的同僚都是可以信賴的，為何在大家共用的更衣室裡櫃子還有必要上鎖？
Q: 'Now, ... why is it, officer, if you trust your
fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your
locker in a room you share with these same
officers?'
答：你要知道，我們的辦公室是跟法院共用的，經常會有律師穿過那個更衣室的。
A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the
court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk
through that room.'
這時法庭上發出一陣笑聲，庭審立即暫停。
這位出庭的警官被提名為年度的「最給力的反唇相譏」獎。我們認為他會得獎。
The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt
recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's
'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.
「最給力的回馬一槍」答辯之二
Number
2:
現在我們知道他為何是位將軍.
. .
Now
We Know Why He Was a General -----
在最近的一次訪問中，諾曼史瓦茨科夫將軍（海灣戰爭中的美軍統帥）
被問到他是否有可能原諒那些曾經庇護教唆對美國進行911攻擊的恐怖分子。
In
an recent interview, General Norman Schwarzkopf was asked if he thought there
was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harbored and abetted the
terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America.
他以典型的史瓦茨科夫方式回答。
His answer was classic Schwarzkopf.
將軍說：「我相信原諒他們是上帝的事…
而我們的工作是安排他們跟上帝見面。」
The
General said, "I believe that forgiving them is God's function ...Our job
is to arrange the meeting."
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